Puppet Booth

You can move me wherever you choose

You have the power 

Over me

Pull my strings

Make me move 

You can shake me around with the slightest movement

You have me trapped
Like a puppet in a puppeteer’s grasp

But it’s not your fault

I’m living in a puppet booth

I was was the one who got myself into this mess

Loving one who won’t ever love me

You pull my strings

Make me change my doings

You have somehow started a ruining

In my heart

Though small

It still capable

Of being destroyed….
You have all control

No longer can I try the mend this

You have taken my heart

And you tweak with it everyday 

You are becoming a puppeteer 

You went from a talented musician

To a talented puppeteer

Good enough you can make a career

As a puppeteer 

You pull me around

You have all control

You can make me different

Change my ways

You can change my ways

Cuz you my puppeteer 

So you can pull me around

So name me the helpless puppet Keely

It’s okay

I’ve long forgiven you

You, who controls my actions at times

Because I know you 

Will never lead me wrong

Never will you trick me

Or purposely torture me

Especially for long

I know you’ll lead

With a will

I’ll know you’ll let loose of my strings at times

I’d be free

But missing you

The puppet booth 

Is where I’m happy

Near you

And even as I type this

I’d not shower and let my hair grow nappy

If I could spend one night by your side

Not sex

But a time where it’s just the two of us together

I want you

My puppeteer 

No one else

Or anything else from you

I want your love

I want you to feel the same

I’m a puppet

But your a puppeteer 

How would this ever work out?!

Its impossible

 It’s my fault I’m a puppet now

But it’s okay

I love you tremendously 
So meet me at the puppet booth

You can make me smile

Like no one else can

I tried someone else

Your string just wouldn’t turn to crumble like and sand

You only can send me to the happy lands

I’d never seen Cloud 9

Until I found myself laughing and loving to be by side

In the beginning 

Even as a freind

Only you can fill my heart

Pull at it

Control it

But it’s okay

I can’t resist you

No time to play

I told you one day how I feel

Your strings let me loose

Took me to a kneel

A collapsed marionette 

You let me calm

You said some desire is nothing wrong

You my puppeteer continued your path 

But you never said my words back 

You liked someone else

But know you don’t 

And I still don’t have a chance

A tragic story we create together

At the puppet booth

We aren’t meant to be together

But I won’t give up

I have strings still attached

And a puppeteer who I can’t leave

Even with no strings attached
So meet me at the puppet booth

Where my heart seems to stay in waiting

Waiting to see you again

Waiting to be filled with an undescribable escasty

I’m your puppet

You have all control

Sotimes I think of you

And I feel my legs move in a way I can’t control

I find out

I’m taking 

An unplanned stroll

I find myself next to you

Next to my puppeteer 

Ready to take me to the puppet booth

With a simple hello

This is bad

But I can’t let you go

Don’t leave me

It hurts enough

But if you go

My strings will stretch

Please don’t go!

Don’t walk away!

No!

No! 

No!
Please come back to the puppet booth

I can’t live fully happy if you leave

It’s time fooooorrr the pupppet boooooothttth!

Pup-pet booth
Pup-pet booth

My love for you

Is strong

So keep coming along

My love for you is strong

So keep coming along

Be my puppeteer 

I love you, so

Be my puppeteer

Come along

It’s time for the puppet booth

So come along

Let’s perform my sad story once more

There is no end of thy Puppetbooth

My love…….

Katie,Katie (A farewell poem to an AMAZING freind)

Katie, Katie

Why did you have to leave? 

You were making me start to believe

Katie, Katie

I cried when I heard the word you had already left

I was confident that I could talk to you in the end

Tell you how much I amend you

Now your gone

Now I’m empty inside

You were the best friend I’d dreamed of all my life

All my friends are male

I can’t talk to them they way I talked to you

The other female friend

Is kinda stale

She doesn’t care how much I hurt

Even know that your gone

Don’t get me wrong,

She, country bumpkin is great

But I can’t talk to her about much

Which I hate

I can’t very freely make comments of my fucked up family

No one in my friend list

Understands this problem

But you

I can never wait for you to get to school again

I can never share a strong dislike about a sibling with someone again that understands

You almost hate your sibling too

You get it

I can never again feel smug inside about having a friend like you

I can never have to to cheer me up on the worst of moods

I can never come and tell you all my problems with William

I knew you understand heartbreak

But know your gone

And the lack of friends to go to

Makes another crack in my heart

Earnestly joining the rest 
Your simply gone now
And There will never be another you

Katie, Katie

I wished for a great friend

Then you arrived

When I first saw you

I didn’t think you’d accept me

But I hoped

You had a look of someone I needed to meet

And I rectancaly went over to you 

And took a seat

You looked so alone

Everyone else didn’t even look at you

And it felt so cold

You were new

And here new is old

No one cared

So I made point of doing so

You talked to me

For unknown reasons

Even after you heard my middle school treasons

I showed you around the school 

And you showed me around happiness

Which you slowly reached too

We were both so alone in the world

And when we met

We suddenly weren’t

You understood me somehow

And I understood you

You accepted me 

Even after I told you some scary stories of my past troubles

You didn’t think I was some crazy bitch

But a crazy but amazing person

You have been here for me

Since day one

Monday April 25,2016

You saved me

Now I’ve lost you only after  a short nine months

Katie, Katie

Why did you have to leave?
When I heard you say you were moving our sophomore year

I fretted about

Scared to be without you

But when I heard you say two weeks ago

That you were about to go

I PANICKED

I guess I should known it would come soon

You said you’d be gone tomarrow

But you left half way through today

While I was nodding off in Geography

You were driving away

Boxes packed close

Taking you away

And a peice of my heart with you

As I sat trying to pay attention to a bore

My heart began to sore

I thought it was because I thought you were leaving soon

But later I knew 

That you had gone

And I had missed my chance to say goodbye

I had lost so much

In so little time

You being gone

Is like a hole in the sky

Or more likely in my heart

My eyes poured tears

Though pointless

They won’t bring you back

People say you can contact her

But I can’t

I have no way to

I don’t even know where you are now

I’m freaking out,

Yes,

It’s true

But I already fucking miss you

Katie, Katie

Why did you have to leave
I started thinking of all our times together

Then I started to blubber

And cry once more

You leaving has me tore

I’ll never forget the day you said

“Keely, I’m worried that one day you’ll ditch me. You and Marcus are my only friends. I don’t want to loose you as a friend. So tell me now, would you ever ditch me?”

You had spoken my worry that I had for you

That you would leave me someday

I assured you I wouldn’t

I would never leave your side

But know you have left me

And I’ve been  torn from your side

Our vows are broken

Against our control 

God!

This sucks!

Katie, Katie!

Why did you have to leave?!
I’ll never forget the day you left

Tuesday, February 14,2017

Not because it was Valentines Day,

I would of remembered if it was a more random date

Just like I remember the exact day you came into my life

And not because you came at good timing

Right before S.V *(Read previous poems for what happened with S.V, and who he is)* broke up with me

I’ll remember you

Down to the slight tint of green in your eyes

Hiding Behind your black framed hipster glasses

You are amazing

And I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know

Katie, Katie

Why did you have to leave?
There will never be another you

No matter how far or long I look

The greatest girl I know

Now has been took

This isn’t just a sad poem

This is my life

And right now your departure 

Has me spasming

Please remember what I’ve told you in the past

Your beautiful not pretty and don’t ever think your ugly,

You promised me never to take your life

Even when things are really heavy,

Hey look!

Something we share my readers!

We both are depressed!

Your amazing,

Don’t let the haters get you down,

Keep being your amazing self.

Please remember these things

And all other that I told you

I put effort into keeping you happy

And none I said are lies

Please believe me Katie,

‘Tis my last wish

Or not,

I’m fucking selfish

My last wish is that you stay happy

And that someone else will take the time to know you

You seem quiet to those who don’t know you

But you aren’t so really

I wish someone will be a great friend to you 

who will remind you that you are amazing

I don’t care the gender age or manner

Any of that stupid shit 

I just wish for you to have a companion 

Who is as good as a freind to you 

As you were to me

I can’t wish you back

But I wish for you to be happy

Your departure is horrible

Yes,

But I hope good comes from it

Maybe you’ll change some else’s life like you did to mine
Katie, Katie

I know you have to go

The facts are facts

And I know you’ll never get to read this

You won’t even know it existed

But you are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time

I want to thank you

Before you go
Katie, Katie

I’ll miss you so

Katie, Katie

I know you have to go

So Katie, Katie

You have my every gratitude 

And I love you so much (as a freind) it kills me to see you go

But I hope you are happy wherever the wind has to blow

Don’t forget me…..

Because I’ll never forget you…………

Katie……

My best friend…..

 Good Bye….

And thank you for being in my life…

Katie, Katie

Goodbye……
NOTE: sorry I forgot to uncover the YOU in the picture I  accedently covered the other day. Oops….

At Random Times/Oh, I think of you (A simplistic poem for The never ending struggle of me&S.V)

You pop in my mind 

At random times

Brushing my messy hair

Listening to people insult me

And showing I don’t care

Sitting in math class

When my brother is an ass

vacuuming my room

Looking at a picture I drew

So ugly it faced certain doom

Turning on my alarm clock every night 

before school the next day
Staring at the horror at my morning hair’s startling sight
Oh, I think of you
This I can say

Tying my shoes

Listening to the news

Scratching an ant bite

 Pulling my shoelaces tight

Eating dinner

Telling one of my friends to go get her

Petting my dog

Stepping in muds like bogs

All these things aren’t good times

To drift off to the past

To think of the good and bad 

Evolving around the topic of you

But is there a good time?

…………..No………..

There isn’t…….

But I want this to go away

I don’t want to think of you

but really,

There’s nothing I can do 

Now
Oh, I think of you
You and all things evolving around you

May last forever

In my head

Haunting me past high school 

And college

Through jobs

Through retirement 

I ruined things

I’ll remember what I’ve done

Like a  caring father remembers forever hitting his son

Damn,What have I done??!?

Oh, these thoughts have won!

I’ll think of you at random times far into the future

Job interviews

Getting groceries

Brushing my teeth

Signing checks

Looking at decks

Longing for trips to the beach

Cleaning dog shit

Taking a break to sit

I’ll be thinking of you

Quite likely,

I’ll be thinking of you

Quite likely
You pop into my mind

At random times
Oh, I think of you

It’s true

Oh, I think of you

I’ll be waiting…(a poem to S.V, begging for mercy once more)( #RollingMyEyesAtMyself)

                                                  Fairytale to a nightmare

                                              Misery and guilt  prevailed on me

                                               This is the new version of us

                                                                        ***

I think of you 

And I know I shouldn’t

I know it’d be best for me

To forget and move on

But I’m stuck in the past

Where are legs twisted like Twizzlers

And didn’t nt stay as far away as possible 
Where you smiled at me

With joy of a great level 

And not give me cold looks

If I glance your way in passing

Where we shared things

And not where we don’t even share words 

Where we held each other close 

 not push each other as far away as possible

I keep thinking of you,

An ex-boyfriend

An ex-friend

Thinking of how much I wish this tension was pretend

I wish I’d be joking around with you still

Laughing and listening to your ridiculous stories

I don’t wish to be with you again

I just want back my friend 

The past keeps haunting my present

I think of you

 it’s true

And I keep going n wishing

You’d forgive me

For all I had done

9 months later,

Your forgiveness still amounts to none

I once was your number one

now I’m nothing

My apologies 

are not mere bluffing

I wish you’d see

That I miss you

And Guilt sticks to me like slime

What once was once is now destroyed 

And not a single thread is left

Of the tapestry of love and happiness we created together

Side by side

Smiling and pressed close

 in that mere month 

We were “us”

It’s all destroyed 

A peice of trash is not what you are to me
Believe me

You’re so much more

Maybe that’s why I can’t let you go

I miss you

And I hope someday you’ll miss me too

And forgive me for all I’ve done

I’ll  be waiting….

THAMKS FOR READING EVERYONE! I hope you come back for more poetry, songs, stories, and rambles at keelythecynicalrejectblog!!! And I hope you enjoyed your visit! Have a great day!

With love,

Keely (the cynical reject)


The Poem Called Nathan #TBT (throwbackthursday)

➖I like the way I warm up when I see your face

Your personality sends my pressured body

Into smooth waves

What once was mine 

now is yours

Heart’s disconnected 

I’m cold to the bone

I trust you,

Can’t you see

You’re my dirty ‘lil secret

➖Take me away

To your land of excitement 

Can’t you see you’re my only enlightenment 

Wake up each day 

And realize your almost mine

I’m the confused little mental

Who is always by your side

➖Tousled golden hair

Sexy smile

Freckled face,

Like my confused feelings

 sorted in piles

Cocky vibes send me into overdrive

I just can’t control my feelings

I wish I could sing them a lullaby

➖You’re so alluring

I feel it burning on my face

You’re  the new spice in my life

A new catchy chase game

I’ve given you my heart

Although you don’t know that ’twas true

But you are filling in the hole

With warmth and  liquid you

Is this what love is?

Or am I just stupidly falling on my face

➖it’s no coincidence 

I would walk a thousand miles

To see you for less than a day

I would wish,

Wish to stay

You lead me astray 

I think I love you

➖You give me the Sun

You light up my world

You give me heartache

you give me happiness

You’re not the one to blame 

but the one to thank

I gave you my heart

My love for you is more

Than some pain

➖Take me away already

To your land of excitement 

Can’t you see

 by now 

your my only enlightenment 

What once was mine

Now is yours

Can’t you see!

My heart’s disconnected 

I’m cold to the bone

I’m the confused little mental

Who’s always by your side

Can’t you see

What my dirty ‘lil secret is?

Look at me

In the eyes

As I write this I’ve taken down my disguise

I’m in a love struck daze

Just look in my eyes

My secret is I love you

And my desire is high

For you,

My love,

My darling,

Nathan.
Special Note from the author,current day: I have horrible memories from when I did hook up with Nathan. If you’ve read my first blog post, you will know why, but long story short, things really didn’t work out. (My first blogpost was a memoir assignment, which I had to post. I picked the topic of Nathan Easley, my firs boyfriend. Fell free to check it out if you would like ;). You don’t have to scroll down that much, I only have 26 posts.) I have had this poem for a while, I wrote it before we were together. Meaning this poem was written late 2013. So it’s OLD. but I love this poem so much, and I dug it out of one of my bins without thinking of him, which made me very proud of myself. I posted it because I want to share it with more than just my brain, soul, and heart.So I hope you enjoyed it!

A Begging Girl (a poem)

She stares at him wth sorrow filled eyes

She tries to force feed her own self half-hearted lies

She tries to pretend she is over him

 but the next  day tries to apologize on a fragile whim

She stares

She shudders

She is down in the gutters
She pleads  like a criminal

Like one who could be giving up her life

The guilt hits her fast

In a single strife

She chases him down like a deranged bloodhound

And cries out with the very worst of sounds

She keeps on trying

But his patience is dying

Soon this fight will be turned to dust

Their communications will rust

Because she is a begging, begging girl
She begs for forgiveness 

She knows she has done much wrong
Please is becoming her most said word

Her anguish had and agitation is clearly heard
But he won’t fogive

And she won’t stop trying

She’s becoming a beggar

It’s plain to see

She’s not someone I would want to be

She pleads for forgiveness

He pleads for powerful earplugs

She is starting to cling to him like a leechy bug
Please! She repeats

Not even trying to be discreet 

No time for that!

She just wants to be forgiven!

Her mood is as dark as a bat

Swooping downward in the night sky 

Just listen to her sighs

As she cries, cries, cries
If begging could solve it

She surely would know

Because it seems her begging won’t ever go

Away from A begging girl
The outsiders saw this

In a layer of disgust

They saw a begging girl

One who’s sadness was robust

They were annoyed on sight

By this begging girl who wouldn’t stop her foolish fight

And the outsiders had been right!

About his begging girl
I know this, because you see

I was this begging girl

Begging continuesly for a lost cause

And a forgiveness that would never come

And my foolishness came to a great sum

Because now I’m an outsider too

Looking back at a  begging girl

And watching her with disgusted eyes

I’m annoyed with this begging girl

Who whined, whined, whined

The part that digs the deepest

Is this isn’t a girl I created with machines or fabric or anything like that

Because this begging girl was me

And I have to live with this fact

Yet, stay intact

I was in the midst of a mild mistake

And soon the begging girl inside was born

In the disasters wake

Now when I close my eyes some nights

A begging girl dances behind my eyes

I watch her with her pleads and tears

The  begging that seemed to go on for years

The ghost I can’t cut out even with monster shears

She comes sometimes and shows me how much a fool  I was

When I was this begging girl

And I wish no one else to have my fate

Sometimes in the night she catches my attention

At night

She comes, she comes to get my attention

Her patheticness is a a terrible fright

A terrible fright, a terrible fright
She is a Pain and a fool,

A begging  girl

You (just) can’t convince me otherwise (a poem)

I’m a monster

You’re a hero

I am hideous

You are far more beautiful 

I am fat

You have the perfect body

You’re more valuable than all the greatest jewels combined

Let’s even throw in some wads of cash

I am completely worthless

Your all anyone could ever need

I am dumb
You are blazingly smart

I’m an asshat (Not part of the poem: yes, I said asshat, I love that word!)    

And a horrible person

You’re the greatest, kindest,

And a role model and inspiration 

I am useless

You are talented and handy

I am freak-ish

You’re near perfection

I’m a puny, insignificant mortal

You are an impending God

I am weak

You are strong

Inside and out

I’m a fool in love’s hands

You just may be immune

But sometimes you can cause it

Never forget the cause it

I am not good enough for you

And pretty much everyone else

And you are….

Although unaware,

Too good for almost everyone

Maybe 99%

You are amazing

I am horrendous

You (just) can’t convince me otherwise