A Begging Girl (a poem)

She stares at him wth sorrow filled eyes

She tries to force feed her own self half-hearted lies

She tries to pretend she is over him

 but the next  day tries to apologize on a fragile whim

She stares

She shudders

She is down in the gutters
She pleads  like a criminal

Like one who could be giving up her life

The guilt hits her fast

In a single strife

She chases him down like a deranged bloodhound

And cries out with the very worst of sounds

She keeps on trying

But his patience is dying

Soon this fight will be turned to dust

Their communications will rust

Because she is a begging, begging girl
She begs for forgiveness 

She knows she has done much wrong
Please is becoming her most said word

Her anguish had and agitation is clearly heard
But he won’t fogive

And she won’t stop trying

She’s becoming a beggar

It’s plain to see

She’s not someone I would want to be

She pleads for forgiveness

He pleads for powerful earplugs

She is starting to cling to him like a leechy bug
Please! She repeats

Not even trying to be discreet 

No time for that!

She just wants to be forgiven!

Her mood is as dark as a bat

Swooping downward in the night sky 

Just listen to her sighs

As she cries, cries, cries
If begging could solve it

She surely would know

Because it seems her begging won’t ever go

Away from A begging girl
The outsiders saw this

In a layer of disgust

They saw a begging girl

One who’s sadness was robust

They were annoyed on sight

By this begging girl who wouldn’t stop her foolish fight

And the outsiders had been right!

About his begging girl
I know this, because you see

I was this begging girl

Begging continuesly for a lost cause

And a forgiveness that would never come

And my foolishness came to a great sum

Because now I’m an outsider too

Looking back at a  begging girl

And watching her with disgusted eyes

I’m annoyed with this begging girl

Who whined, whined, whined

The part that digs the deepest

Is this isn’t a girl I created with machines or fabric or anything like that

Because this begging girl was me

And I have to live with this fact

Yet, stay intact

I was in the midst of a mild mistake

And soon the begging girl inside was born

In the disasters wake

Now when I close my eyes some nights

A begging girl dances behind my eyes

I watch her with her pleads and tears

The  begging that seemed to go on for years

The ghost I can’t cut out even with monster shears

She comes sometimes and shows me how much a fool  I was

When I was this begging girl

And I wish no one else to have my fate

Sometimes in the night she catches my attention

At night

She comes, she comes to get my attention

Her patheticness is a a terrible fright

A terrible fright, a terrible fright
She is a Pain and a fool,

A begging  girl

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