Glass (A poem)

*NOTE TO READERS: This is NOT about cutting*

The peices litter the ground 

I can’t cry out

I can’t make a sound

My breath has disappeared 

After looking at the broken shards

They show me what used to be

Kisses and hugs

Sharing 

Caring

Rosy cheeks

When emotions

Could be leaked

Not compressed 

The glass is sharp

But I still play with the peices

Like a child would with toys

Everytime 

I hope I can

Put the pieces back togther

So I sit with the glass

Delicate but weighing in my handS

Your reflection stares back to me

I just can’t leave 

The shards on the ground

The glass calls out for me

I sit in the glass

Curled up

Head down

Like I wish I could

My emotions

Tears mixing with glass

I know our relationship wasn’t meant to last

But that doesn’t mean 

It doesn’t hurt any less

No matter how much this hurts me

I just can’t bear to let go

I don’t want to be in your arms

I just want to be your friend now

Your  smile reflects in the glass

The ache I feel

Just won’t drift away

I may manage to put down the glass

But then I pick them back up again 

I just want to put the peices back togther

The glass hurts me

So bad

Cutting deep

Like your lack of words

To me

I see your smile

The braces shining

Like my tears

I have cried for you

Your jokes leaving your mouth

Your individuality 

Your freckles

Your nerdy cool persona

The neon yellow jacket you used to wear

Your shy affection

Your freckles 

Your straight nose

That my wayward emotions

could never match

Your stride

Your surprising gentlemanly displays

You and I together 

Hands holding tight

Like we were afraid that if we let go

One of us would disappear

Maybe it was a premonition 

Because you let go

And I disappeared from your mind

And your life

Maybe your lunch table is right next to mine

But that doesn’t matter

I might as well be a ghost

But ghosts haunt

And I don’t haunt you

I haven’t let go yet

And I just wish that you’d disappear sometimes too

In the glass I see you drawing 

Your eyebrow wrinkling in concentration 

The glass shows you

Playing cards

Meeting you for the first time

Noticing you’re odd like me

The glass shows you in every peice

The glass shows our friendship

The glass hurts 

But I can’t let go

I still sit 

Getting cut up

It was time to let go

A long time ago

But I still

In vain

Try to fix this mess

It’s hard to let go

When you ruined something valuable 

And it seems

That you’ll

Never get it back

The glass should of been clouded by now

It’s been around so long

And touched so much

There’s bulletproof glass between us

Now

I can’t reach you 

I can’t break through

And although I was the one that put in there

I would do almost everything

To have it removed

A fragile glass relationship 

Was once the only glass

We shared

But when that broke

A new glass

Was put in

Quickly

The glass

Is in my hands

And I wish it would be in yours too

Because then you would feel my hurt 

And at least

Then we could connect again

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